The Great Tomato Growing Contest of 2010

It's that time of the year again! Time for the great tomato growing challenge. For a lot of years my brother-in-law and I have competed growing tomatoes. It is sort of a loosely ruled competition for who gets the FIRST RIPE TOMATO from our plants. Not the first on the plant, but the first RIPE one. We used to have a twenty dollar bet but have sort of let that slide. Actually what happen was I lost last year due to my limited space (patio), limited sun (only morning) and I refused to pay him when he won since he had an outdoor REAL garden. It seems to me that I should have some sort of allowance for the handicaps that patio growing has in comparison to outdoor country growing like he has. This competition allows us to show what pros we are by doing things like rushing to Lowe's and getting a plant already sporting a tomato. There is a lot the novice grower can learn from us pros. This years competition is open to any of our children who would like to accept the challenge from both of us professional tomato growers. It think that it is time to pass down the skills of planting, soil preparation, fertilizing, prune or not pruning, and how to attach a store bought tomato to the vine with tape, toothpick, plastic string etc long enough to get a photo to show the other competitors. To enter this competition one must be able to lie, cheat, fake it, bluff, and do all of the fore mentioned with a straight face. But I figure none of those sissies or their pansy husbands or boyfriends will be up to the challenge. They will all have some flimsy excuse like work, a baby, or something cause they are all city slickers who just ain't up to the challenge. After all it takes a real farmer to handle this. So it is on, Rich. Let the lying, cheating, bullshit talking (and a little growing) begin!!!!