Aliens?

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years
ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico . This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April
1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.
Hillary Rodham
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Howard Dean
Nancy Pelosi
Dianne Feinstein
Charles E. Schumer
Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses?

Edit

When I went to college I wanted to major in journalism. I had some doubts about my abilities to succeed in the field. So I became a teacher instead and spent 25 years doing a job I never liked. I found the headlines below that were actually printed in newspapers. Now I know that I could have been a very successful journalist. Smart ass comments are in blue.

1. Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No crap, really? Ya think?
3.Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
4.Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
5. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
6.Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!
7.War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!
8. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!
9. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
10. Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!
11. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
12. Man Faces Battery Charge; Struck By Lightening
He probably IS the battery charge!
13. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
14. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
And my favorite. . .
15. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Katrina 4

Today is the 4TH anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. I have seen three so called documentaries on how New Orleans is recovering. The one with Anderson Cooper showed the half built jazz village, a bunch of off key musicians blaring in the background, shots of people eating shrimp and a man saying "we back, we back". I am sick of hearing about fucking New Orleans. I have been for FOUR years! They got flooded because they refused to fix levees that they have known were bad for 40 years and they elected leadership that was too stupid to load people onto school buses and move them out of the area. I hate that people died there but please!!! When there is a big orange spinning mass on radar in the Gulf of Mexico with a name, and weathermen are having orgasms yelling "Get out!! Run for your life!!!" why in the hell would you wait??? What kind of sign did they need? A damn burning bush?? Oh, yeah they had to play a little jazz and eat a little gumbo while sitting there saying, "De mayor take care of us!" The national media was and is as stupid about that storm as they are about Obama. Katrina did not HIT New Orleans, you idiots. It made landfall on the Mississippi Coast. Hey!!!! You nitwits!!! We are over here. . . . to the east of New Orleans. How about a little coverage of this area? Or maybe just a damn mention of the existence of the people here? The local TV is doing a little coverage here and so is the paper. Who needs the national news idiots? They fit in New Orleans better anyway.

The Beav

Eddie Haskell, The Beaver & Wally. Damn, we are getting old!

The AMA on Health Care

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception, and the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!' Oncologists fear it's malignant, while Osteopaths see it as holistic. The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter." The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington. (From Senior Humor Website)

Wednesday

The Wilson's -- Children, Grandchildren and Great Grand Children

I went to Franklin County for the funeral of my brother-in-laws mother Mrs. R. Wilson yesterday. I have know her for a lot of years and she always had a really fun personality. I don't remember seeing her when she wasn't smiling. She always seemed genuinely please to see you. She was always glad to see us when I went to her house with my sister and her husband. She made the best coffee! It was always strong, hot and rich. I remember sitting in her kitchen at the table talking and a lot of the time there was a game going. Maybe cards or dominoes. She had five kids, four boys and a girl and when we were younger they were all in and out and later there were grand kids everywhere. I like that big family feeling with all the different kids everywhere. Going to her house for the Fourth of July was a lot of fun. There was lots of food, people, and action including fireworks. She was a great person. A true lady and she ran a great home. Her kids and grand kids all respected her then and they still do. It seems that her daughter-in-laws loved her a lot and there are many women who are not honored by the girls their son's marry. She was a true country woman who gardened, canned her produce, welcomed visitors with ease and brought up her kids to be good people. She will be missed, but she touched a huge number of people as will as her family and her memory will live on. I will always remember her.

Let me get this straight. We're going to get a health care plan shoved down our throats that is written by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it, signed by a president that also hasn't read it, and who smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that's nearly broke.

August

August is not normally my favorite month. It's usually dry, brown, hot and only a misery between summer and fall. This year it's been different. There has been a lot of rain, the lawns and trees are green and lush and the flowers are still looking good. I'm glad the tomato season is over. I didn't bother with fall tomatoes. Winn Dixie is easier. I have started thinking about fall flowers to replace the hot pink petunias I have growing on the patio. We had a so called cold front that passed through the area Friday talking the humidity with it. It left the air clear and a bit cooler and it left that first feel of fall, despite the afternoon heat and the promise of more summer to come. This August hasn't brought any hurricanes to the area and soon the anniversaries of Camille and Katrina will passed. We wait to see what September will bring. August makes me want figs. I love them and can not find them anymore. I would like to have a few jars of preserves for breakfast eating. Friday night high school football has started. But the big talk has been about Flip Flop Farve. He will, he won't, he DID! Everyone is fascinated with the man and his antics. And it's nice to have someone to distract from the endless talk and combative mood over health care. "Aging drama queen," a Chicago Tribute writer call the soon to be 40 year old Brett. "Sad, old and tired," a New York headline said. I don't want to see an icon fall from excellence on the field or hear about his fits of indecision. I don't enjoy seeing ridicule heaped on him. I am pulling for him. I'd like to see a last championship for him as improbable as it is. I'd like to see the grand old man of football become a legend for his leadership of this team. As we age it's becomes harder to give up the things that we love in this life. For Farve it seems to be the game. So thinking about old Flip Flop is a nice addition to the thoughts of August. It makes these late summer days fun and along with the figs, tomatoes and lack of storms it gives promise of the future and good things to come as we march toward the cold of winter.

Forgotten

We are approaching the fourth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. The local newspaper is running a series starting on Wednesday of this week. The governor and first lady are coming to celebrate the progress in rebuilding that the coast has made in four years. I'm waiting to see if the national media covers the anniversary. It will be interesting to see if the Mississippi Gulf Coast where the hurricane actually hit, is only a footnote to what is happening in New Orleans, as has been the case in the national media's Katrina coverage. Are we still "The Forgotten Coast" four years after the event?

Senior Protest

This is what can happen when you screw around with senior citizens.
Don't try to take away our Social Security checks.
Be afraid, be very afraid!
We know how to protest!

Next Life

I want to live my next life backwards! You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat. Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks. When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you're too young to work. So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party. As you get even younger, you become a kid again. You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities. In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on-tap. Until finally... You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.

Best Friends

Yesterday was my best friend, Clem's 62nd birthday. We have been friends for 54 years since we were in the third grade. That's a hell of a lot of water under the bridge. We attended Meadville Elem. and couldn't wait until recess to get to that dusty playground to chat. We moved on up to what was called Jr. High then. For our graduation from the 8th grade we all wore white dresses and gloves. We loved the Beatles, ironed our hair to straighten it, had a crush on Micheal Landon, played in piano recitals and hymn festivals. We showed her skinny legs and my thunder thighs wearing mini skirts. We baked ourselves trying to get a tan on all day trips to Ship Island. We graduated high school in 1965, attended Co-Lin Jr. College and then on to USM. After college we roomed together on the Coast where we both taught school. She as a music teacher, me in elementary. The two of us have been through a lot together. We stayed close through the years after we married. We have seen the birth of kids, divorce, and the loss of our parents. We called each other checking on sick relatives, and kids and husbands. We spend a lot of time laughing about things that the younger set does not have a clue about. Like love beads, 'sack' dresses, playing Heart & Soul, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Brittany Apartment, Tara and Durray, Led Zeppelin and QT. We know secrets that no one else can remember. Like pounding on the roof of our apt with a broom handle and cooking on a hot plate in the dorm room. We also count on each other for support and loyalty. It's good to have a friend for 54 years. It is also fun for her to be a month older than I am until September 26 when I turn 62. Happy Birthday!!!!!

USM vs MSU vs UM

When it comes to fishing for non-conference opponents, both Mississippi State and Ole Miss love to dip their hooks into Conference USA.

There’s nothing like kicking off against Memphis or Houston or Tulane or Alabama-Birmingham for a chance to pick up an easy win.

To try to make life even easier for the Ole Miss athletic establishment, the Rebels will even go mano a mano with the Lions of Southeastern Louisiana, the Lumberjacks of Northern Arizona, the Gamecocks of Jacksonville State, the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette and the Salukis of Southern Illinois.

Making life easier is more difficult for the Bulldogs, as the Black Bears of Maine proved in 2004 with a 9-7 cowbell-silencing victory in Starkville. Still, there is the hope that the Tigers of Mississippi’s own Jackson State and the Blue Raiders of Middle Tennessee will be softer fare than the Tigers of LSU and the Hogs of Arkansas this fall for MSU.

But amid all this non-Southeastern Conference pairing up, neither Ole Miss nor State will hook up with Southern Miss, which is also a member of C-USA.

It didn’t used to be this way.

State started playing football with Southern in ’64 and Ole Miss followed suit in ’66. But the Bulldogs haven’t played football with the Golden Eagles since 1990. As for the Rebels, this is the silver anniversary of the last USM-UM game in 1984.

Both State and Ole Miss seem quite satisfied with the status quo.

As for Southern Miss, they are hardly sulking in the shadows.

The days of scheduling quality opponents by offering to play “anyone, anywhere, anytime” are behind them. After kicking off the season with the Braves of Alcorn State from just across the state, the Golden Eagles will entertain the Cavaliers of Virginia and then go on the road to meet the Jayhawks of Kansas and the Cardinals of Louisville. Next season, the Jayhawks come to Hattiesburg and the Golden Eagles will swoop into Baton Rouge to have a go at LSU.

Indeed, for all the yelps from fans of the upstate football programs, accommodating both State and Ole Miss would be much more difficult for Southern than for either of them to fit USM into their schedules.

But hard or easy, it ought to be done.

It is time for both State and Ole Miss to toss one of the minnows off their schedule and add one whale of a game.

As USM athletic director Richard Giannini recently told the Sun Herald: “I’ve been to their stadiums — not with Southern Miss — but with other programs, and I saw a lot of unsold seats when they play several opponents. If we play them, it will be overpacked. They will be outside scalping tickets. Hopefully one day it will move in that direction.”

Hope is fine, but legislative action would be quicker and surer.

Before we help fill up stadiums in Memphis or Birmingham, let’s help fill up the ones in Hattiesburg and Oxford and Starkville.

The editorial above represents the views of the Sun Herald editorial board, which consists of President-Publisher Ricky R. Mathews, Vice President and Executive Editor Stan Tiner, Vice President and Chief Financial Officer Flora S. Point, Opinion Page Editor B. Marie Harris and Associate Editor Tony Biffle.

Picking Lemons

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said,

"I have to ask you this; have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times and I voted for Obama."

Obama's List

On Monday, White House director of new media Macon Phillips posted a note on the White House web site complaining of "disinformation about health insurance reform." "These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation," Phillips wrote. "Since we can't keep track of all of them here at the White House, we're asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov." So if you sent an e-mail to 'flag' I think you might be a little concerned. I don't write to it because I don't trust the government that we have in place now. I think that Obama wants to keep up with folks who don't agree with him. What he plans to do with that list I don't know. The White House sent out e-mails to a lot of people who e-mailed 'flag' but didn't want to hear from with White House. (I understand this is against a Federal law.) He wants American's to tattle on other Americans. That's fucking amazing! With him and his pushy attitude and his past actions of bulldozing bills and actions into place I don't trust him or think he is above my suspicions. He and his administration have trashed Bush for listening in on suspected terrorist and here he is collecting names of people who disagree with him on domestic policies. That's scary. It reminds me of night raids by hooded men breaking down doors and carting people away. Now he is backing away from 'flag' but I'm sure there are other spy's out there. Some say he is backing away from health care reform. Since he loves to be popular that is not surprising. And maybe those folks in Colorado who carried their guns to Obama's town hall meeting got his attention. It's a good thing for Obama that the press is SO up his ass because none of his press crew can take a hard pushing reporter asking hard questions. Listen for all the stuttering and back pedaling that the White House does. I think the president is a dense, pushy bully who wants to be popular and will try to make people agree with and like him. And if you don't you may wind up on one of his "list".

Remembering Camille

When we were allowed into the Coastal area a few days after Camille in 1969 the recovery of bodies was still underway. All that was cleared was a few roads. Parts of highway 90 was passable. I will never forget the piles of debris or the smell. People found bodies as they cleaned up their property and they washed up on the beach. There was no electricity and no way to keep the bodies cool and they couldn't be buried until they were identified and the cemeteries cleared. Finally they were taken to the ice houses and kept there.

For 40 years, since August 1969 I have thought about Faith, Hope and Charity at least once a year. They were unidentified white women found in the Pass Christian area. One was found near City Hall. After the storm they were placed in gray metal caskets and buried in Evergreen Cemetery in Gulfport. Wade Guice, who was Civil Defence director had tombstones placed on the graves. On these he had descriptions engraved in the hope that they might one day be claimed. He listed their race, age, height, weight, and on each the inscription includes such descriptions as "4 rings and earrings or black rubber boots". They haven't been claimed in the 40 years since the storm. How do people have no one to claim them? They had to be some one's daughter or mother or sister or wife. Each year there is a short ceremony at the women's graves. Although they were not claimed by relatives they are remembered by people on the Coast.

Camille claimed 13 of the Williams' family. Paul Williams survived along with one son, Malcolm, and his son-in-law, Erin Burton. The next morning, with the assistance of rescue workers, Williams and the other two family survivors began the grisly task of recovering the bodies of their loved ones. The irony of the incident was that the Williams' house had escaped the storm unharmed. Chief Jerry Peralta remembered watching the recovery of the bodies from Live Oak Cemetery. "The thing that hurt me most was Williams with his family, as I watched him carrying those bodies. He carried them out of the cemetery and laid them on the sidewalk", stated Peralta, during an interview prior to his death in 1982. Williams buried his large family in DeLisle, a small community just north of Pass Christian. The burial included his wife, 8 children, and 2 grandchildren.

Camille 40th - Featured Story - SunHerald.com

Camille’s 40th - Featured Story - SunHerald.com

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Pitt for Mayor!

It started with a homemade tee shirt designed by Tulane Professor Thomas Bayer. He made the shirt to wear to Jazz Fest. He decided that Brad Pit should run for Mayor of New Orleans. The idea has taken hold all over the city and talk of it is all over the Internet. For a mere $20 you can have a tee with the Pitt for Mayor logo on it. The editor of The Storyville Times Josh Harvey has listed 13 tongue in cheek reasons why having Brad Pitt for Mayor is a good idea. After Nagin an actor seems like an excellent idea to me.

Reason #1 - He's Qualified
Rather than having to make vague and unpersuasive connections between clearly unrelated qualifications.
Reason #2 - NOLA ♥'s Brad Pitt
By bestowing the great office of Mayor of our city upon Mr. Pitt, we, the citizens, are afforded the opportunity to say thanks for the many wonderful things this gentleman has already done for us. What better way to show our heart-felt appreciation than to present to him the mayoral office, the patronage trough, the cornucopia of our great city, that which we hold so dear and is ours to bequeath?
Reason #3 - Lagniappe If we elect Brad Pitt mayor, Angelina Jolie would be the First Lady of New Orleans.

Reason #4 - Technology and Gastronomy
Instead of technology executives vying for malfunctioning anti-crime camera installation contracts and lap dances, movie moguls from everywhere will lobby the mayor to get a table on Galatoire's ground floor for the Friday before Mardi Gras all-afternoon lunch.
Reason #5 - Publicity
Publicity and photo opportunities will chase our Mayor, instead of the Mayor chasing publicity and photo opportunities.
Reason #6 - Urban Planning
We will not have to rename a street to honor his name, as Pitt Street already exists.
Reason #7 - City Council Relations
Stacy Head will be nice to the new Mayor.
Reason #8 - Economics
Instead of executive travel expenses depleting our budget, the city's coffers will be filled through generous personal appearance fees earned by Mr. Pitt as our elected leader and ambassador.
Reason #9 - Convention Business
New Orleans will become the magnet for conventions of professional women's organizations worldwide. The warm glow of pink Cadillacs will illuminate our Southern nights. This mass of sensually charged femininity will attract male visitors eager to contribute their economic stimulus.
Reason #10 - Jazz Fest
Instead of being greeted by the ubiquitous presence of Shell (God bless them!), visitors to Jazz Fest will be welcomed at the main entrance by our Mayor enthroned on the King of Rex Float, officiated by his Secretary of Music, Quint Davis.
Reason #11 - Rebuilding
Rather than relying on Aussie eloquence and narrative creativity or malfunctioning federal and state agencies, Mr. Pitt, as our chief executive will, instead, lead us, the local Pittwomen and Pittmen, in the fight against blight, crime, poverty and lack of humor. Dressed in period costumes and assisted by experienced producers, set builders, make-up artists, and camera operators, this cast of thousands will launch our Renaissance epic in weekly reality sequels.
Reason #12 - Transparency
Instead of having to sue for the release of public records, or to attempt to restore accidentally deleted emails, we can learn everything about our first executive from the pages of the National Enquirer and People Magazine.
Reason #13 - Integrity
Rather than governing our city to achieve fortune, fame and a book deal, our candidate already has achieved fortune, fame and MOVIE deals.

Reason # 14- HE'S HOT!!!! That one is mine.